Understanding the multifaceted aspects of grief

Grief is a deeply personal and multifaceted experience that impacts every aspect of our lives. In our latest podcast episode, we delved into the complexities of grief and explored how it manifests in different dimensions of our being. Today, we’re continuing that conversation by examining the six primary ways grief shows up: physical, emotional, mental, behavioral, social, and existential/spiritual.

1. Physical Manifestations of Grief

Grief often presents itself in physical ways that can be surprising and overwhelming. It’s not uncommon to experience fatigue, exhaustion, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns. You might find yourself struggling with physical pain, muscle aches, or even clumsiness, as your body reacts to the emotional toll of loss.

Example: You might notice an increase in sensory sensitivities, such as feeling overwhelmed by loud noises or bright lights. This heightened sensitivity can be a direct response to the intense emotional state you’re navigating.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Mindful Movement: Engage in gentle physical activities like yoga or stretching to help alleviate muscle tension and fatigue. Mindfulness exercises can help you reconnect with your body and ease physical discomfort.
• Routine Check-ins: Establish a consistent sleep routine and balanced meals. Setting a brief, sustainable routine can help you feel anchored as you start your day.

2. Emotional Reactions to Grief

Emotionally, grief encompasses a broad spectrum of feelings, from profound sadness and anger to guilt and relief. Each emotion is a natural response to loss, and it’s crucial to recognize that there is no “right” way to grieve. Also, you may feel more than one thing at a time. The emotions intertwine, compound and build on one another making it an incredibly complicated and at times overwhelming experience.

Example: You might experience anger as a more comfortable emotion compared to sadness. This is because anger can feel more productive and less passive than the stillness of sadness. Alternatively, you might feel relief that a loved one is no longer suffering, which can coexist with deep sadness.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Emotional Expression: Allow yourself to fully experience and express your emotions through journaling or creative outlets. This can provide a safe space for processing complex feelings. I love using a feelings map exercise to help us understand how emotions are showing up in our bodies and why we might feel so overwhelmed.
• Seek Support: Engage with a support group or therapist who can offer validation and help you navigate these emotions without judgment.

3. Mental Impacts of Grief

Grief can significantly affect your cognitive functions, leading to brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and decision fatigue. You may find yourself disoriented or struggling to remember daily tasks.

Example: You might experience moments of forgetfulness, such as walking into a room and forgetting why you went there. This cognitive overload is a common response to the emotional strain of grief.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Organizational Tools: Use lists, reminders, and planners to help manage tasks and appointments. Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps can reduce feelings of overwhelm.
• Cognitive Rest: Allow yourself to take breaks and engage in activities that stimulate your mind in a relaxing way, such as reading or puzzles.

4. Behavioral Changes in Grief

Behaviorally, grief can manifest in various ways, including changes in daily routines, increased crying, or the need to keep busy to avoid emotional pain. You might also find comfort in carrying mementos or creating altars to honor your loved one.

Example: You may choose to wear a piece of your loved one’s clothing or jewelry as a way to feel connected to them. This can provide comfort and a tangible link to your memories.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Create Rituals: Develop personal rituals that honor your loved one, such as lighting a candle on significant dates or keeping a special photo in a meaningful place.
• Engage in Comforting Activities: Allow yourself to engage in activities that provide solace and comfort, whether that’s spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby, or simply resting.

5. Social Dynamics in Grief

Grief can impact your social interactions and relationships, leading to isolation or difficulty relating to others. You might withdraw from social activities or feel disconnected from friends and family who may not fully understand your experience.

Example: You might find yourself feeling frustrated with friends who are preoccupied with less significant concerns, or you may struggle with a sense of isolation from those who don’t share your grief.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Communicate Needs: Reach out to supportive friends and family members, and communicate your needs clearly. Let them know how they can best support you during this time.
• Set Boundaries: It’s okay to set boundaries around social engagements. Allow yourself the space to grieve without feeling pressured to meet others’ expectations.

6. Existential and Spiritual Questions

Grief often prompts deep existential and spiritual questions about life, existence, and the afterlife. You may find yourself questioning your beliefs or seeking signs from your loved one.

Example: You might grapple with questions about where your loved one is now or how their passing impacts your own sense of purpose and spirituality.

Self-Care Strategy:

• Explore Spirituality: Engage with spiritual practices or communities that resonate with you. This might include meditation, prayer, or reading spiritual texts.
• Reflect on Purpose: Take time to reflect on your own sense of purpose and meaning. Consider journaling about your evolving beliefs and values as you navigate this new chapter of your life.

Remember, grief is a complex and deeply personal journey, and it’s essential to be gentle with yourself as you navigate its many facets. If you need additional support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional or connect with a grief support group.

Interested in learning more or working with me? Reach out via email at hello@griefisthenewnormal.com, listen to my podcast “Grief is the New Normal: A Podcast with Dr. Heather Taylor” available on all major platforms and YouTube, or follow along on Instagram @grief_is_the_new_normal.