The STAY
Framework.
Grief, reframed.
Four letters. A completely different relationship with loss. Built for the full, complicated, nonlinear reality of what it actually means to carry grief and keep living.
Grief does not need a roadmap. It needs a framework. STAY is an orienting stance, not a checklist, built for therapy rooms, boardrooms, and living rooms.
Four letters.
A completely different
relationship with loss.
These are not stages. They are not steps to complete in order. They are four practices that can be returned to, layered, and held at the same time, because grief is not linear and neither is this framework.
Built from loss.
Grounded in research.
The STAY Framework did not start with a theory. It started with a loss in November 2009 and a therapist who could not sit with me in it. I went looking for something that actually matched the way grief moves through a human life, and I built what I could not find.
Over four years of hospice work, a doctoral dissertation on mourning practices and social media, years co-founding and working in a community mental health clinic, and thousands of hours in the therapy room, the framework took shape.
It is grounded in modern grief theory, dual process models, continuing bonds research, and the lived experience of people who refused to let grief be rushed. The five stages gave people a map. The STAY Framework gives them permission to put the map down and actually be in the grief.
That is a different kind of help. And it is what people actually need.
STAY belongs everywhere grief shows up.
Which is everywhere. The framework is designed to be accessible to grieving individuals, applicable in clinical practice, and teachable in organizational settings.
- People navigating any kind of loss
- Those who feel like they are doing grief wrong
- Anyone who needs permission to stay in it
- Therapists, counselors, and social workers
- Hospice and palliative care teams
- School counselors and crisis responders
- HR teams and people managers
- Healthcare organizations and hospital systems
- Schools, nonprofits, and community organizations
How STAY works
in the room.
The STAY Framework is not a manualized treatment. It is an orienting stance that shapes how a clinician listens, what they reflect back, and how they help clients build capacity rather than move through prescribed stages.
It can be introduced explicitly as a psychoeducational tool, used implicitly as a clinical lens, or offered as a framework clients take home and return to between sessions.
- Introducing STAY as a psychoeducational framework in early sessions
- Using Track the Loss to map secondary losses and anticipatory grief
- Applying Allow Complexity to normalize contradictory emotional states
- Integrating Yield to the Moment with somatic and EMDR approaches
- Using STAY for case conceptualization and clinical supervision
- Adapting the framework for group therapy and grief support settings
The STAY Framework
Companion Workbook
A clinical and personal companion to the framework. Built for clinicians who want to introduce STAY into their practice and for individuals who want to do the work on their own terms, at their own pace.
Guided reflections. Case applications. A way to move from understanding STAY to actually living it. More details coming soon.
There is a way in wherever you are.
Whether you want to experience STAY in therapy, bring it to your organization, or start with free resources, there is a clear path forward from here.